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A rule of construction

The US Supreme Court long ago adopted a general rule to apply in construing vague or ambiguous statutes. Essentially, if a statute can be construed in a way that does not offend the Constitution, the Court will follow that interpretation rather than overturn the statute. It's a form of deference to congressional intent: "We'll presume, Congress, that you wanted this law to pass constitutional muster. If it can, by a reasonable interpretation, we will follow that reading."

Well, lately I got to thinking about this rule of construction at the same time I was thinking about the Flaming Lips. This was shortly after seeing a Spongebob Squarepants windsock in Newport, if you were wondering about my thought process.

And I got to thinking about rock band names. Geek that I am, I hit upon a rule of construction for interpreting band names: if there is a reasonable interpretation that would allow the name to be dirty, you must adopt that reading rather than conclude that the name is innocent.

This may seem obvious for some bands: The Buzzcocks. The Flaming Lips. The Butthole Surfers.

But others are borderline cases: The Kinks. The Super Furry Animals. Pearl Jam. Nine Inch Nails. Tower of Power. This rule would require that we take the filthiest interpretation possible for such borderline names.

Then there are the ones seemingly on the clean side of the line, but susceptible to a dirty reading. The Wailers. Modest Mouse. The Talking Heads. Cat Power. Willie Nelson. How to construe these names? It's a tricky business, but I think the rule is sound. Interpret at will.