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Picture of the Week

And high in the running for Picture of the Year, for FLOG anyway:

Japanese Tourist With Balls
Buckingham Palace, June 26, 2005

Fallible Beefeater

Brandon writes in comments:

And, while the guards outside the Buckingham Palace may not react to taunts, I'm wondering if they'll flip out like Tom Cruise if you spray water on them. Please investigate.

Nobody but Tom Cruise can flip out like Tom Cruise. "You're a jerk!" Waaaaah!

Anyway, the palace guards: they are not supposed to react or talk or anything. But see these two?

They're posted at what I later learned is the back door of St. James Palace. I was walking past them, lost because I had gone for a walk off Trafalgar Square without my London A to Z street atlas, when the one on the right asked me what time it was. "Oy mate," he said, "d'y'ave the time?"

And in the picture it looks like he's talking to his fellow beefeater. Either this is how they all behave when no tourists are in sight -- because I was walking fast with a briefcase, I could've been mistaken for a local, and this was the back door, after all -- or he's trying to get fired. But just goes to show they are not rocks.

Confidential to Washington Canard

London is smarter than DC:

See also

Internet connections have been spotty for me outside of class, and I'm trying to pay attention in class. But Ashley (FLOGette) has been blogging up a storm over here:

http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/EuroAtkinsons/

(Includes pictures!)

We are now in London

Can't talk long, Floggies, as I am in class. Awesome: I can piggyback on the wifi network from the Radisson Hotel next door to the school.

School: a line of converted houses a block from the British Museum on Great Russell Street. Ashley is spending her morning at the Museum now.

Flat: a converted "shed" in the back yard of an old house on Chichele Road in Willesden Green. Quiet, private, safe. Eugene apartment-esque, with mossy patio, lots of old trees and English Ivy. Not bad except it is dingy and the bathroom is filled with very smelly mildew. (It actually smells better in there after I've done my business.) So much for shopping online from overseas. We're going to cancel our reservations with that company for the two weeks after we hit the continent and upgrade slightly to a place by Kensington Gardens.

Willesden Green: a bustling, international stew. Definitely off the tourist map. Down the block, the Dar al-Islam center (which I'm convinced is notorious for something terroristy?) rubs shoulders with an old Church of England abbey. The food selection, naturally, is pretty awesome.

Okay, gotta go. But I think we'll work up some observations this evening for posting tomorrow.

Clotted Cream

Yeah, I'd eat that. It's nothing against German horse meat. Now the question is, what can the French come up with?

Michael Jackson

Not that the world needs another "blog," or even a FLOG, pontificating on the Michael Jackson verdict. But here are my two thoughts:

1. I suppose I am reluctantly glad about the verdict because it proves that it is still not entirely a slam dunk in this country to convict a person of a crime merely by the prosecutorial strategy of "Hey jury! This guy's pretty weird, am I right?" Being a strange dude should not be a crime, and I'm happy with that principle even if it means letting Michael Jackson off for a lot of sick shit. In a land where he can be considered innocent, we are all still free.

2. On the other hand, I was hoping for a guilty verdict just to spare us this kind of nonsense:

At this point, anyone still a Michael Jackson fanatic ought to be rounded up and pumped full of lithium, and "undying love of Michael Jackson" should be added to the symptoms list of many disorders in the DSM-IV. Apparently the cops outside the courthouse were instructed to watch for suicidal behavior in the event of a guilty verdict. Not to stigmatize anyone, but I think he might be acting as a magnet for a whole lot of people in need of help, much like a suction cup pulling venom from a snake bite. Our mental health community needs to take advantage of this opportunity.

Quick! Before they go home!

How I wasted 1/12 of my Sunday afternoon

Failing to look away from this ridiculous exchange between two acolytes of Greil Marcus' "Pay-me-to-masturbate-at-length" school of rock criticism, concerning (in the most tenuous sense of that word) the rawk classic Led Zeppelin IV. A representative sample:

{Q:} . . . More generally, what are the connective threads, conceptually speaking, between, say, looking at a landscape painting, a Roger Dean record cover, the jackets of the old Lord of the Rings paperbacks, black light posters, M.C. Escher calendar art, a videogame like Myst, and virtual worlds, if any? What is it about the ape mind that wants to project itself into imaginary landscapes, and what memetic role did the '70s album cover, the music that was its soundtrack, and the imaginary geographies they constituted play in the construction of the "wraparound sensorium" (McLuhan) we now inhabit, as residents of the Matrix?

{A:} "Head" to me has always been a more interesting cultural category to me than "hippie." One way into the headspace of the heads is by brushing off the hoary old term Imagination . . . {and so on}

I guess I only kept reading because I was waiting for one of them to just break down and wail a boozy "Why? Because Zeppelin FUCKIN' ROCKS, COCKBREATH!" and then storm out. Let me then spare you the same fate: it doesn't happen. You will, however, be treated to some light discussion of "Led Zep's gender politics" (eep) and the creeping sense that both critics would rather be talking about Yes (double eep).

Questions beget Answers

"Kenny" asks in comments:

"Are you guys staying for Wimbledon?"

I hate tennis. Never canvassed FLOGette's feelings on the matter, but I hate it.

Wimbledon does run from June 20 to July 3, so yeah, we'll be there at the same time. But that's not why we're going on the 18th. No sir. We're going for this:

London to go pink for a fortnight
London's gay and straight communities unite to celebrate two weeks of theatre, film, sport, comedy and art.

More than 250,000 people are hoped to get involved in the 14 day extravaganza which starts on June 18 2005 and culminates in the Pride Parade on July 2.

Pride organisers have changed the format for 2005 and hope to bring a wider visibility to issues facing London's gay and lesbian communities.

Bob Geldof will be opening the parade on July 2 at noon from Park Lane before kicking off the Live8 concert at 2pm in Hyde Park.

Theatre, film, sport, comedy and art will be part of the two-week festival, as London's LGBT (lesbian/gay/bi/transgender) community unites friends and families under the Pride banner.

Holy shit. I'm all for equal rights and free expression and such, believe me. But a two week pinkathon drawing 250,000 people? Things might get . . . too festive.

On the other hand, this means nobody will bat an eye if I run down to the corner store for beers wearing only my leopard skin boxers, as is my wont.

Also: Bob Geldof? I guess I just hadn't thought about it.

Also also: am I the only one weary of how the identity politics crowd always states matters as "(addressing/raising awareness of/bringing visibility to) issues facing X"? It's tiresome. Must we always be addressing various issues? Cut the shit and admit you're throwing a party.

Answers beget questions

Just recieved a copy of "London A to Z," the authoritative atlas of the chaotic London "grid," so essential that Londoners are known to carry a copy. Popping it open merely to scope out the area around our flat -- in Willesden Green -- is a dazzling excursion in itself. Some highlights:

1. Willesden Green hosts an intersection of "Lennon" and "Elvis" streets. Nearby: "Marley" and "Fleetwood." Doesn't look premeditated.

2. A couple miles northeast of Willesden Green is Golders Hill Park. This park features a water feature by the name of "Leg of Mutton Pond." They'd better have signs.

3. Willesden Green's nearest "high street" (what we call a "strip") is known, in left-to-right order, as: DUDDEN HILL LANE HIGH ROAD WILLESDEN LANE. Another high street that feeds into it from the southwest goes by CHURCH ROAD HIGH ROAD. And a spur off to the northeast is called WALM LANE CHICHELE ROAD CRICKLEWOOD LANE.

4. The other high street, leading northwest to southeast, is THE BROADWAY EDGEWARE ROAD CRICKLEWOOD BROADWAY SHOOT UP HILL KILBURN HIGH ROAD. Okay then.

5. Near "Cool Road" is the "Welsh Harp Open Space," located considerately a bit apart from the "Rifle Range."

6. Okay, I promise, the last for now: "Clitterhouse Recreation Ground?" I shall have fun in this neighborhood, or be ashamed for failing to.

7. Yeah, I dangled that. On purpose.

T Minus 185.75 Hours

Well, we're just over a week from departure here and still trying to iron out the itinerary and maybe make a few alterations.

Here's what we know:

1. I will be studying comparative human rights law in London from June 20 to 30. On the weekend maybe we go to Bath.
2. We will be trundling across the continent from Paris to Munich from June 30 to July 10. This includes spending July 4 in Reims, France. Better France than England, I suppose, but it seems odd to me. After Reims we hit Trier, Germany, a nice little ancient city that I spent about an hour in last August. So that's Paris to Reims to Trier to Munich.
3. I will be studying international commercial law from July 11 to 21.
4. While I'm in school, Mrs. FLOGette is delighted to know that the British Museum is two blocks from my school. She'll be studying the classics, then.
5. The Dangermouse narrator says: "LONDON!" I couldn't agree more.

Well, duh.

Just so there's no mistakes: FLOG is no longer a "blog." Once it may have threatened to be one, and people may have raised up their hopes -- Tim keeps demanding posts -- but I'm sick of pretending.

FLOG originated in my brain hole as a way of providing more frequent content updates than my photo website could provide. Even at the rate of a post per month, it will continue to fulfill this goal. Consider it a quiet little random thought generator, something to check every week or four. You probably already do so, but it's good to get these things in writing.

Worry not, though, FLOG will never die. It smolders.

Just don't consider it a member of any "-osphere."

In total contradiction of the above, FLOGette and I are considering maintaining a EuroBlog! while we are in England, France, Germany, Bavaria, and Wales during this month and the next. (I like to recognize as many quasi-sovereign states as possible, in hopes of discouraging anti-balkanization. After all, ridiculous, ancient quibbling rivalries among various tribes of pasty white people are what keep Europe interesting. So sure! Bavaria and Wales are free states! Why not?)