Many years ago, across the foggy sands* of time, in a moment of gin-fueled vicarious bravado I advised a wiser man than myself to publish 1200 words under his own name in a well-enough circulated periodical about a sequence of events at an amusement park that no man should live to recount. To give it the three word summary: chili, pants, monorail.
Two things drove me on in urging him to -- sorry -- spill the beans. First, these things are universal. We all have that story to tell, in some form. Second, it's a hilarious story, personal humiliation notwithstanding. (The second derives from the first. Those who don't find these things funny must not do these things. Which means we'll all laugh harder when we learn that they secretly do.)
Well, now the tables have turned. I find myself three installments in to my own water loo, my own chili, pants, monorail. Do I swallow my own advice? Do I finish what I've started, at risk to my reputation and the disgust of those who sit above such filth? Or do I cop out and give you the story about when I was four and only made it halfway from the bathtub to the toilet before the bomb bay doors opened?
Do I do what I have come in here to do, or get up from where I am and go away?
We shall see. In the meantime, learn a little about the fringes of nacho culture.
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*Yes, sands can be foggy. Look it up!
Posted by FLOG at April 13, 2007 12:15 AM | TrackBackFake handshake! Fake handshake!! FAKE HANDSHAKE!!!
Posted by: phooeyhoo at April 13, 2007 12:53 AMI know. But I swear I'll shake your hand soon. I'LL SHAKE ALL YOUR HANDS!
Posted by: FLOG at April 13, 2007 12:57 AMDO IT! Join! Join! Join!
Posted by: Ashley at April 13, 2007 1:02 AMOh, get on with it already, you big baby. You won't get mocked for years to come or anything like that.
"Wiser man"? Ha!
Posted by: Brandon at April 15, 2007 10:55 AMThat is a rather sad commentary on our lives.
Posted by: Sad Commentary at November 5, 2007 3:40 PM